Deciding to breastfeed this time was a difficult decision. I debated it up until a few weeks prior to delivery. It isn't that I didn't want to, but whether or not I could handle the time required to do it. My experience with breastfeeding last time became very stressful. I produce a lot and I felt like I was pumping too often for too long. I was running around like crazy because life still goes on. It was just very difficult. I knew this experience could be even more difficult because I know it is very likely he will never breastfeed at the breast and it will always be pumping. At least with Cooper he was able to eventually breastfeed. With heart babies though, it is typically too tiring for their little heart to breastfeed. The commute is also longer and I have another child. However, one day I just decided I needed to do it. I needed to at least try. Today I am feeling so glad I did. There is something about being able to provide food for your baby. To know it is healthier for him. I came in knowing what questions I wanted to ask the lactation consultant and that if it becomes too stressful I will stop. I am already feeling like this experience is going to be better, which makes me happy. I feel blessed to be able to provide my baby with nutrients he needs.
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