Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanksgiving

Today has been a wonderful Thanksgiving. It's been simple, yet great. We spent it with my family since there were too many people attending Chris' family's Thanksgiving. We don't know who has been sick or has had their shots. It was sad to miss it, but we had a great time with my family. We had a delicious dinner, watched football, took naps, put up the Christmas tree, ate pie, and played games.

Words can't express all the things I am grateful for, especially this year. The list is endless. Some of the things that come to mind are:

  • Easton being here.
  • Modern medicine.
  • Priesthood blessings.
  • Family. 
  • Incredible children's hospital nearby.
  • My amazing husband.
  • Awesome friends/neighbors/ward.
  • My little family.
  • Prayer.
  • My mom! I couldn't do this without her!
We are so incredibly blessed. You always know you are, but when you're going through trials you recognize the blessings even more. Maybe it's because you cling to them a bit more looking for any piece of hope and happiness that is around you. Maybe it is because there are more. Either way, we have them and we're so grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

A Look Into My Daily Life

Coming back from the hospital has been another transition. All the responsibility falls on my shoulders again for the care of this little man. Yeah, I get help here and there, but overall, it's me. I had to laugh because of our medicine situation. Easton is on four meds. Two one a day, one twice a day, and one four times a day. Cooper went to the ENT doctor while Easton was in the hospital and the doctor is wondering why Cooper's ear tubes aren't lasting evening a year. He said they should last at least a year and a half. He is trying to put off another set of ear tubes for at least a month, so he put Cooper on three meds--- one once a day, one twice a day, and ear drops three times a day. I am going crazy trying to remember it all. Then, there are diaper changes for both kids, baths, laundry, grocery shopping (which I did at 11 PM the other night), dinner, feedings for Easton consisting of bottle and ng tube, bedtime, naps, and so much more. The days seem non-stop. I am exhausted. Yet, we somehow manage to make it each day. We are being watched over, but you can't tell me you aren't worn out after reading that!

Friday, November 21, 2014

We are going home!

We are finally going home! Easton is still throwing up here and there, but they think it is due to reflux and his cold. They have upped his reflux meds to what they can and he is gaining weight again, so they are sending us home. He also passed his swallow study yesterday. That was pretty neat to see. You see the barium he drinks go down his throat in real time in an X-ray. I am happy to get home. I miss being together as a family. Easton has been all smiles the past two days.

Pictures to come.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Teasings of Home

The past few days we have been tempted with going home and then something happens to keep us here. He is still struggling with feeds. Today the doctor came in to see how he was doing and talked about us being discharged. Then he started to gag in his sleep and kept it down. As she turned around to leave, up it came. Today he really struggled after taking his bottle. He had a bit of strider during the last few gulps. He was very uncomfortable and fussy and was breathing really hard. The speech therapist said she didn't want him going home yet. It has been decided to do a swallow study with him again tomorrow. We will do a bottle at 9am with speech and a swallow study at noon. From there hopefully we will have some answers and can progress towards moving home. They are wondering if he is aspirating some and we didn't find out on first swallow study because he only took 5mls when he did the initial test. They are hoping to get him to take more tomorrow so we have a better idea.

The stay is starting to wear on me a bit. It makes me worry more for him. I am missing Chris and Cooper. I am missing my home and my bed. I miss being productive. I get bored here very easily. I hold Easton every moment I get, but try to let him sleep too. I love looking into his eyes. How I wish I could take all this that he has to go through away. I love hearing him talk and occasionally see a little smile out of him. I would do anything for Chris, Cooper, and Easton. I will never be able to express to them how much they truly mean to me. How they make my life meaningful and full of joy. I always knew I was meant to be a mom. I never realized it would be so hard, but I am so grateful for the blessing of getting to be called mom.

Cooper also went to the ENT today. I took him a few weeks ago when he didn't pass his hearing test in his left ear. Turns out the same thing happened as last year, his left ear tube fell out and got stuck in the ear. The ear isn't draining on its own. Luckily no infection yet. We did medicine for ten days and returned today to figure out what would be happening. Since no infection but still fluid behind the ear, doctor is going to try two more medicines. He said tubes should last at least a year and a half. Cooper's don't seem to last even a year. He thinks he may have a small tube. In four weeks he will decide if we need to do ear tubes again. We return to the doctor two days before Christmas for them to decide.

Our boys keep us on our toes. Life truly is an adventure. I am so grateful that the Lord blessed us with these two sweet, sweet boys. Just figuring out how to juggle it all!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Happy Third Birthday, Coops Man!

Dear Cooper,

Happy birthday! We can't believe you have blessed our lives for three years! You're growing up to fast. Just within the past month you've changed so much. Words can't describe the amount of joy you brought to our life when you became a part of it. Life is so much more fun!

Some things about you:

  • We don't know why, but you have the cutest southern accent when you say a lot of things.
  • You love sports. Your latest obsession is football. You could play it all day! You even use the correct terms.
  • You hate to wear clothes.
  • Changing your diaper is torture for us because you're so ticklish.
  • You're a great big brother. You're always kissing Easton. I often carch you singing to him and telling him you love him. 
  • You love to sing songs with me and read books at bedtime. 
  • Your laughter is contagious. To hear you giggle, especially when tickled under your chin, makes me laugh!
  • You are a daddy's boy! I wish you were a momma's boy. 
  • You love fruits and vegetables, especially salad. And you will each almost anything if you can dip it in "sauce." You call ranch dressing, A1 sause, etc. "sauce."
  • You love marshmallows.
I could go on an on. You're such a smart little man. I'm so excited to see you continue to grow, though you'll always be my baby. We love you, Coops!

Love,
Mom (& Dad)

Admitted

This little man was admitted to the hospital yesterday.

picture to co me

Easton's heart condition is so severe and he is so critical during this time before his next surgery that he gets "special treatment." We have a binder we keep on him. We weigh him at the same time each day and record his weight. We also record each feeding, how much he gets, what type of food, and how he gets it (oral/feeding tube). We have also been recording if he throws up. He has been doing it a lot over the past two weeks and we changed formula twice thinking that would help and also stopped using breast milk. He did great for a few days on this new formula that is $50 for a small can! Then he started throwing up again and worse than before. We have even started a reflux medication.

Because he is high risk, we also have a doctor we can call at anytime with questions or concerns. I called her Friday to see if we could stop fortifying because last time we did he stopped throwing up and the past 24 hours he had thrown up a lot. She called the next morning and he had thrown up the past three of four feeds and was struggling with his overnight feed so she said we needed to come to Primary's and that he was going to be admitted so they could figure out what was going on (that was yesterday). 

After being here a couple hours his oxygen started decreasing pretty quickly. They checked his blood count and decided he needed a blood transfusion. It did wonders for his oxygen. They had put him on oxygen cause it kept dropping, but after the transfusion they were able to take off the oxygen. His heart rate was also high and they said the high heart rate and low oxygen is often what these babies do when they need their next surgery. Obviously Easton isn't big enough for his next surgery. And since his sano (small tube they put in his heart for blood flow) gradient (the flow basically) was high when we went to cardiology, he may need a stent put in his sano. His heart rate his since gone down and since oxygen is back up, we may be able to put this off for a little while longer, but it will likely need done. 

He also got a temperature while here. They checked him 30 minutes later and he was fine so we aren't sure why he had the temp. We are grateful for it though, because of it they decided to do a test to see if he had something, sure enough... the rhinovirus (common cold). We have tried so hard not to get him sick and he still did. We have said that a cold could land him in the hospital and here we are. People think I am paranoid, but they don't realize the severity of the situation. He has a little cough and yet it has thrown him for a loop. It was a blessing he was having the feeding issues because we were here to find out that there were more serious things going on. I am super glad his oxygen didn't start decreasing at home. 

They also felt he was a bit "dry" once here. It is a term often used with these heart babies. They are on lasix to help them get rid of extra fluid. We don't want any on the heart/lungs because it makes it all have to work harder and on an already weak heart, it's not good. So, they stopped his lasix because he was too dry (a little dehydrated). 

He is tolerating feeds so far. They put him on a continuous feed and have worked the volume and calorie count up. They are going to have a speech therapist come to see him bottle feed tomorrow. They wonder if he really isn't ready for a bottle like they thought. We will see tomorrow if they want to do another swallow study or other feeding plans.

It is weird because by being here I feel like a weight has been taken off my shoulders for a bit. I realized I carry a lot of stress. Being here it is like a bit has been lifted because I have people helping me watch him that know what they are doing when it comes to his care. It is nice to have that help.

We knew this journey would be a rollercoaster and as hard as it is on the emotions and so much more, I am so glad to have this little man bless our lives. He has the sweetest little face. I love his smell and looking into his eyes. Oh how I wish I could take all the pain away for him, but then I remember that our Savior suffered and died for all of us that he could succor us through these trials. We are so incredibly blessed. We are being watched over. We don't know what His plan is, but we know it's good. We know whatever it is that we will get through it. 

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Friday, November 14, 2014

Friends Spreading Sunshine

We have THE BEST friends! Looked out our window to see this this morning. It made us smile and maybe shed a few tears Seeing two mommas I met in the CICU lose their heart babies has broken mine. Been a sad couple of days. One of the babies was Easton's room buddy before surgery, Collin Halling. When I found out last night I picked Easton up and held him and cried like a baby and went and kissed my sleeping Cooper. I love my boys.

Pic to come

Friday, November 7, 2014

A Happy Momma

As moms, we often don't get in the picture because we are taking it or because we don't like how we look. I had this little moment where both my boys were cuddling with me and I realized that it didn't matter what I looked like. What mattered was the moment. I love these two.

The transition to Easton being home has not been easy. I cried every day probably the first week, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. He gets multiple medicines in the morning (when he first came home it was morning and night). He has an occupational therapist that visits once a week to work on feeding. He has an oximeter to monitor heart rate and oxygen. He has oxygen in case he ever needs it (doctors say as he gets bigger he will likely need it). It's hard to not worry about different things, but doctors say he is looking good. We also have many doctors appointments we go to each week, high risk, pediatrician, and cardiology. We can't let him cry because it is too hard on his heart which makes getting things done difficult whether it be going to the bathroom, eating, cooking dinner, etc. We are slowly figuring it out. It also makes car rides interesting. Someone has to sit in the back with him. The other day he still wouldn't stop crying on the way to Primary's for an appointment so we pulled over, unclicked his carseat, rocked it until he stopped crying, then put it back in the car and continued on our way. It's been a big transition. I wouldn't trade Easton for anything though. I still cry on occasion. I'm worn out, exhausted to be exact. Cranky, too. I love these kids though. I would do anything for them. They are my world.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

My Three Boys

Caught my three boys sleeping today. Cooper woke up and went up by Easton and was hugging on him. I love them all. I am so lucky!