Hello, 2015!

I was taken back a bit when I realized New Year's Eve was going to be a harder holiday for me than Easton spending Christmas in the hospital. Usually you look at a new year as a chance to have an even better year than the last. A chance to look forward to the awesomeness that it can be. I shed many tears last night realizing I have a lot of fear for the new year. I see a year of worry, of sacrifice, of scary possibilities. I see a really hard year ahead. It truly could be one of the worst years of our life or possibly one of the best. I was a bit of an emotional Debbie Downer last night, but woke up this morning feeling renewed. All we can do is what we can do. So much of life, including life itself, is out of our hands. Though the fear will never go away, it doesn't have to rule our life. I have decided that this year my one word goal is "BE." In moments throughout the year I want to "BE." Whether it BE happy, present, joyful, optimistic, full, faithful, loving, patient. I also want to read the Book of Mormon. It has been a long time since I have read it front to back. I would like to serve more. I am thinking a small act of service once a month. I have some pretty fun ideas. I also want to limit my use on my phone. I have to keep it with me constantly because I don't want to miss an important call for Easton, but it also causes me to check my Facebook CONSTANTLY. I hate it. Horrible, very bad habit. I get bored so easily and so I check it. Enough excuses though, I am hoping to find a way to limit it. And back to my BE, I want to be more present. Life is so precious and my boys are growing up too fast. I am getting older, we all are. I just want to be present and enjoy the moments. So, here is to a new year. One full of ups and downs, but one with the chance to grow like we have never grown before, to love like we have never loved, and to be happier than we have ever been. Hello, 2015!