The past few days we have been tempted with going home and then something happens to keep us here. He is still struggling with feeds. Today the doctor came in to see how he was doing and talked about us being discharged. Then he started to gag in his sleep and kept it down. As she turned around to leave, up it came. Today he really struggled after taking his bottle. He had a bit of strider during the last few gulps. He was very uncomfortable and fussy and was breathing really hard. The speech therapist said she didn't want him going home yet. It has been decided to do a swallow study with him again tomorrow. We will do a bottle at 9am with speech and a swallow study at noon. From there hopefully we will have some answers and can progress towards moving home. They are wondering if he is aspirating some and we didn't find out on first swallow study because he only took 5mls when he did the initial test. They are hoping to get him to take more tomorrow so we have a better idea.
The stay is starting to wear on me a bit. It makes me worry more for him. I am missing Chris and Cooper. I am missing my home and my bed. I miss being productive. I get bored here very easily. I hold Easton every moment I get, but try to let him sleep too. I love looking into his eyes. How I wish I could take all this that he has to go through away. I love hearing him talk and occasionally see a little smile out of him. I would do anything for Chris, Cooper, and Easton. I will never be able to express to them how much they truly mean to me. How they make my life meaningful and full of joy. I always knew I was meant to be a mom. I never realized it would be so hard, but I am so grateful for the blessing of getting to be called mom.
Cooper also went to the ENT today. I took him a few weeks ago when he didn't pass his hearing test in his left ear. Turns out the same thing happened as last year, his left ear tube fell out and got stuck in the ear. The ear isn't draining on its own. Luckily no infection yet. We did medicine for ten days and returned today to figure out what would be happening. Since no infection but still fluid behind the ear, doctor is going to try two more medicines. He said tubes should last at least a year and a half. Cooper's don't seem to last even a year. He thinks he may have a small tube. In four weeks he will decide if we need to do ear tubes again. We return to the doctor two days before Christmas for them to decide.
Our boys keep us on our toes. Life truly is an adventure. I am so grateful that the Lord blessed us with these two sweet, sweet boys. Just figuring out how to juggle it all!
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