Daddy's Graduation Day

Today is graduation day for Daddy! He's worked so hard to get here! He graduates with a Bachelors Degree in Integrated Studies. He focused on Business Administration, Marketing, and Sports Management. His paper will even get published and put into the library at Weber State University! You should be so proud of Daddy! For the first two years of our marriage, he was working full time in Salt Lake City, riding the FrontRunner to get there, interning at REAL Salt Lake ALL day on game days, and going to school full time. He's definitely earned his degree. We hope you always know the value of education and find something you love to major it. Daddy loves sports so this is perfect for him!

Short Changed

The past few days have been emotionally difficult for me on the inside. I haven't shared my feelings with anyone until tonight as your dad held me in his arms and I cried. I think I've been trying to push them away for a few days, but I couldn't any more. My whole life I have known I was sent here to be a mom. My whole life I looked forward to the day I would be pregnant. Lately, I've been thinking of my pregnancy and the whole experience we went through and I just feel short changed. Three months of something I looked forward to my whole life was taken from me. So many people say I am lucky I didn't have to deal with the issues of the last trimester, but I wanted that experience. I am sad that I didn't get to give birth to you vaginally. I'm sad that I missed out on 3 whole months of getting to experience you growing inside of me. I'm sad you wouldn't breast feed when you came home. I feel like 3 months of bonding was taken from us. I'm sad we didn't get to have newborn pictures taken. I am sad I didn't get to hold you on my chest when you were born or even remember you being born. Some days, it breaks my heart. However, I know that there is a loving Heavenly Father who for some reason felt you needed to be here early. I know he felt that I needed to miss the last three months of our pregnancy. I may never know why, but what I do know is that he knows me and he loves me, and us, and that he always takes care of us and knows what is best for us. I can't say that knowing this prevents me from wishing I still had those last three months, but it does help me to feel his love and know that everything really is okay.

Middle Ear Evaluation

Basics: Fluid still behind ear. Tubes in his ears in 3 months or so if not cleared. No bacteria so that's good! We thought Cooper was probably the doctor's youngest patient. No chairs to hold this little guy! He had to sit on Mommy's lap!

Missing Daddy

You're such a smart kid. Lately you've started to pick up when daddy is supposed to be home. If he isn't home when he is supposed to be, you get extremely cranky. When daddy comes home, you're just fine. It's cute that you recognize he isn't home and want him, but you sure can scream! Silly boy! We love you!

You rolled over!

Scream! You rolled over last night all by yourself! You rolled from your belly to your back! I put you down for tummy time again tonight and you did it again! I yelled for dad and it happened so fast that he missed it! I was so excited the first time I kind of screamed and cheered and you looked at me like I was crazy!!!!

A nurse visited you today and says you're doing great! We're supposed to keep working on tummy time and work on you reaching for toys and following moving things. Doctor appointment tomorrow!

First Family Home Evening

Tonight for family home evening, we took a walk. It was the first time you were in your stroller. You loved it. You slept the whole time. We enjoyed the walk through our new neighborhood and are looking forward to many more walks! I got to go to our new ward on Sunday and loved it! It's going to be a great place to grow up!

Oxygen Update: You're off your oxygen most of the day right now. You're sleeping more which has me a little worried. You seem to sleep all the time. We visit the doctor on Friday for your 5 month appointment and see what she thinks then.

My New Favorite Picture

I love you more than anything. I love being your mom. It's the greatest blessing and calling in the world. I hope we're always close and you always know that I am here for you.

EKG

You had your EKG on your heart today to check your ASD (hole in your heart). You were hooked up to 13 cords. Before that, they took your blood pressure on both arms and both legs. Doctor said you're looking great! The hole is small enough that it should close within a few years. It isn't affecting you and shouldn't. When you saw her (Dr. Judd) you just cooed and smiled.

Your New Room

Your room is pretty close to being finished. I forgot how much you loved your bed until today... you took a nap all alone! That never happens! You laid in your bed and just enjoyed it. You love your new room and you love having your bed back!

You & Grumpa Frederiksen

Grandpa Frederiksen stays pretty busy because he's such a great guy and likes to help everyone, but he took a moment to hold you and this is what happened:

You're probably wondering how grandpa got the name "grumpa." Well, he was grouchy the day we we told Daddy's family we were expecting our first little one (he was worn out from cousin's camp). Your aunts immediately named his "grumpa." It stuck.

Keepin' Us on Our Toes

We love you, Cooper! You're keeping Daddy and I on our toes. It's hard to find time to update your story when we've been busy taking care of you, moving, working, and Mommy has been sick. We can't say enough good things about you. You just make us so happy.

• Your eyes are starting to turn more blue.
• You love to pucker your lower lip.
• You're a huge pooper! It's a blow out when it occurs!
• You're happiest in the morning. You love to talk and smile.
• We haven't heard you giggle again since the first time. We can't wait until it happens again!
• We painted your new room green and are putting up bead board.
• You still love to hold my finger when you drink your bottle.
• You LOVE gas drops. It's like candy to you when it touches your lips you quiet right down.
• You love morning snuggles, but you enjoy snuggling anytime!
• You've got your daddy's toes... where the second is bigger than the big toe.

General Conference

This weekend was the first time you got to hear the prophet speak. You behaved fairly well. Sleeping during some and screaming sometimes, too. It was our first experience with a baby and church. We found out it's hard to listen, but we'll figure it out. You couldn't go with daddy to priesthood, but I thought I would dress you up anyways.

You and Daddy ready for priesthood meeting:

You laughed!

For the first time EVER, you laughed! Daddy and I were so excited to be able to hear it this morning! The three of us were snuggling in bed as your bottle warmed and you just giggled! It was THE CUTEST THING! Daddy and I can't wait to hear it again!!! Incredible! Daddy and I just looked at each other with a huge smile on our face and laughed, too! We just couldn't believe it!

Sneaky Little Cooper

Spot something wrong in this picture? I spot a little stinker! I put your oxygen back on on your right side and needed to put the other side on, but it wouldn't stick. So, I took the sticker off and cleaned off all the sticky stuff and walked away for a minute. I came back to put your oxygen on, and a new sticker, and it wasn't on your face. That's when I saw it. You hate your oxygen and BAM! You grabbed it and pulled as hard as you could until you pulled it off and it was in your hand. I went to take it out of your hand and you didn't want to let go. Then, I had to clean off your right cheek and add a new sticker, too. You usually pull it off and cry, but you did this and acted like it was no big deal. Stinker! Caught red handed!

Smiling More & More

Oh, Cooper! You sure make us smile! You're smiling more and more, but it's still inconsistent and doesn't last but a second. However, we finally caught a little bit of it on camera!

My 4 Month Old

Cooper! You're getting so big! You had your 4 month appointment today and the doctor thinks you're doing great! For an average 4 month old, you're in the 20th percentile, but according to your preemie age, you're above average! Your head circumference is in the 89%, your weight is in the 97%, and your length is in the 88%. You had 4 shots and hated it! You immediately started to cry! I had never heard you cry the way you did. You weighted 9.88 pounds, are 20.98 inches long, and your head circumference is 15 inches.

Things the doctor said:

• Preemies usually have an odd shaped head and she says yours looks great!
• She wants you to have a middle ear evaluation since you aren't passing your hearing test. There are still times when you seem to hear us and other times when you don't.
• You are slightly tongue tied so that will be checked by the doctor that checks your ear. Worse case, they will have to clip it a little.
• You're growing great and can come off the formula we mix with the breast milk.
• We can continue to ween you off your oxygen. You can't get below 88 when sleeping and 92 when awake with your oxygen off.

Things we love and notice about you:

• You're smiling more.
• You're making more noises.
• You're holding your head up better and better each day.
• You love cuddling with mommy and daddy.
• You're starting to find your thumb and make smacking noises when sucking it. If you can't find it, you suck on your arm or whatever gets to your mouth!
• When you cry, you now stick out your bottom lip. It's so cute!

Daddy always tells you "Cooper and Daddy are best friends." We enjoy singing to you and all the funny faces you make. You make us so happy! We will also be moving into our new home in a week or so and you're going to have a new room! 

Love you! Happy birthday!

Aunt Sarah & Jeans

There are still so many people that haven't seen you and held you! Aunt Sarah got to hold you today and you loved it! So fun!

Your first pair of jeans and your little Nike high top shoes Grandma Smith bought you.

My Little Boy is Growing Up

It's crazy to think that you're only 3 months old and I already think you're growing up! You're getting so big and you're so handsome. You bring so much joy to our home and family.

Am I A Good Mom?

Oh, Cooper. The past for evenings have been a little more difficult than usual. You seem to cry more. I can't seem to figure out why. I pat you. I rock you. I sing to you. I stand with you. I sit with you. I feel like I try everything. Am I doing something wrong? Am I missing something? I hope you know I love you and I'm trying. I'm trying to be a good mom. I am trying to meet all your needs. I hope you know that. Love you, Bug.

Not a House, A Home

Cooper, I'm excited to say that Daddy and I are buying a home! You will be able to grow up in a home! I am super excited. This is something mommy didn't have growing up. Grandma Smith raised mommy to dream big and get an education. Because of this, Daddy and I are able to get a home for us! You're going to love it! Daddy and I felt it was time so we started looking and when we saw the inside of this house, we knew it was "the one." Everything seems to be falling into place. It has a basketball hoop so dad is pretty excited!

Also, you've been quite cranky today. We can't quite decide why. You're spitting up your feedings so we think your throat may be sore. We're trying our best to take care of you and hope you know that we are and that we love you.