I'll never forget this day. In an instant I realized the amount of love I had for a person, the lessons he taught me that I never saw, and the amount of love that he had for me and my family. I wish I could say I saw it sooner, but I didn't. Growing up I was an onry teenager. I was trying to figure out how to have a dad and he was trying to figure out how to be a dad. As I grew older I began to appreciate him, though not as much as I wish I would have. We definitely became closer as I had kids. He adored being called "Papa Todd." He was around more often and spoiled us all. I won't be able to get a box of wipes without thinking of him. He was always bringing us a box of wipes. He always brought little things for Cooper.
I was at the Treehouse Museum when I found out. My grandpa called me and said, "Rachelle, I can't get a hold of your mom. I need you to call her and tell her Todd passed away about an hour ago. They will be taking him to the University of Utah for an autopsy." I was in shock. All I remember saying is, "Ok, I'll let her know." I was in shock. I called mom right there and told her to sit down. She kept saying, "What? Just tell me. Is it bad or good?" I told her "bad." I'll never forget her scream as I told her. "No! No!" She wanted to know what happened and where he was. I didn't know. I hadn't even thought to ask I was in so much shock. I quickly got Cooper and we left so I could take him home and head down to be with my mom. I cried and cried. How could this be? I just saw him on my birthday.
We rushed down to be at my grandparents house were he passed away. It appeared as though he passed in his sleep. We giggled a bit when we were told he had his headphones on listening to ESPN radio. So Todd! It took a few hours for us to see him. Since it was an unattended death a medical examiner and detective had to come, take pictures, go through things. They eventually brought him out so we could see him before they took him. No one had been allowed in his room until they had done their documentation. We all said our goodbyes and a prayer. Talk about hard. It was so hard to see my mom hurting so badly.
The last day I saw Todd, my birthday, he could tell I was worn out. He said "give me a hug." I did and he whispered "Hang in there." Oh how I will forever be grateful for that hug. A week or so before that I remember Cooper tackling him at Mom's house and they were both just a giggling! Oh how we miss him already.
I have learned so many things since his passing. One being that he was my dad. I always thought I didn't call him dad because I didn't feel like he was my dad, but I see now it was just because I was used to calling him Todd from when they were dating. Dad seemed weird. He was my dad though. The only man to ever stand by my mom. The only man to help raise us. He was so selfless. He was always taking care of us. He called me daily to see how we all were. He was always getting things for us. He loved us so much. He was crazy about my boys. I've learned to not get so frustrated with things. No one is perfect, what matters is we love each other. Ah! So many things. I miss him so much and look forward to the day when we see him again.
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